My Life

 So many transformations,

“Forever” turned into “Past”-

Severance is essential

When weeds overtake your grass,

And they did.

I’ve sat beneath the trees

And watched the setting sun,

When daylight became black,

My walk became a run,

And I ran far away.

I’ve sat beneath the stars,

I’ve sang up to the moon,

He watched me as I cried

And sang my broken tune,

 But he never talked back.

I begged and then I pleaded,

Forgiveness runs so thin,

And it was always there for you,

But it won’t be there again

Because I quit.

I fucking quit.

Come over Sister Sin, whisper in my ear,

tell me all the things you think I need to hear,

I swear I’ll listen.

Lend me your ear, self-glorified preacher of none,

and listen to the preaching from the barrel of My gun,

it’ll blow you away.

What’s this? The Devil’s skipping to My-Lou,

mumbling all the truths they screamed to make untrue,

saying “no one likes a liar.”

Next time your god begs you to fall onto your knees,

whisper sweet nothings and give him a tease,

don’t forget to spit.

Two bodies apart, hearts together,
I see them now, in love with each other.
Smiles are present, along with bliss,
Hand goes to hand, lips touch for a kiss,
And they float off together. Always together.

Whether together or apart,
Whether near or far,
Whether fighting or happy,
However we are,

Look toward the sky,
Watch our hearts drifting away,
And smile our smile, my love,

“everything’s gunna be okay.”

Another half-filled bottle in the hand
It helps to kill the pain we don’t understand.
The liar speaks “Yeah, I’ll always love you,”
Then sleeps for dreams she never let come true-

All the dreams of me and you.

I trusted your wretched heart to be so sure,
I’d have staked my life on it, but I was wrong before…
Wrong again, and I won’t get lost in this lie,

I refuse the awkward “how are you?’s” and “I’m just fine’s.”

This is what happens when you love a lie.

Feel those pills in the palm of your hand?
Pass a few over, let me understand.
What was the point to even try,
When this love’s been proven to be a lie?
Your love’s a lie, a lie, a lie.

Her excuses pour from the lips I loved,

The lips I kissed, the lips of my beloved,

And I shake my head in disappointment.

“You had me at hello,” and lost me at goodbye,

So this is what happens when you fall in love with a lie,

this is what happens when you love and aren’t loved,

This is what happens when you give out chances undeserved.

I’m a great person, a great guy, a good heart,

And she’ll realize it, and regret, and want it back…

But I refuse to love a lie. I refuse to speak truth to a liar.

And I smile, because I am free. I am free. I am free. I am free.

Free from the pain, free from the lies, free from the excuses, free from the hurt,

free from the bloody stains on my white t-shirt,

Free from feeling unimportant, free from being kept a secret, free from being second-best,

Free from being priority “number one,” yet put under the rest.

Free from being blown off for dates, free from it all,

Sometimes to stand, we just need to fall.

So I will reach up, rip the lies off my wall,

And I will walk, rather than crawl,

Even after she knocks me on my knees.

Now I will stand, be strong for myself,

Say 8 chances is more than enough,

And smile. Cause I am free… I am free. I am free.

How on earth did I get so jaded

How and why has the happiness faded

Where’s the one who can make me smile

Show me all the struggle’s gunna be worthwhile

Pull me outside into the pouring rain

Stare into my eyes and wash away the pain

Give me strength, my love,

to do that which I must do.

Give me hope, my love,

That you still feel this too.

There is an ocean in my vision,

it flows so cold and blue,

Its waves crash around my body,

while I sit and think of you.

The waves are not small, my love,

they crash rather than just fall,

And they knock me over, my love,

I need your strength to crawl.

I must escape these dreadful waters,

As they move, they rise, they fall.

But as I look up at them,

They stand before me like a wall.

But walls can break, they fall, they crash.

And with your help I’ll miss it all,

Then let us stand, hand in hand,

As we watch it fall.

Let us watch it fall.

I am a bug,

Mosquito perhaps,

Entranced by the light

In front of my naive eyes.

Each time it whispers

In my trusting little ears,

“Come back to me,

This time will be so different.”

I am captivated,

So I fly to it,

With my trigger-happy wings,

And pain jolts through my body.

I flutter down,

Toward the ground,

Pain in my heart,

And I listen…

“Come back to me,

This time will be so different.”

And so my naive wings,

Take me back toward the light;

Will this time be different?

“Grab my hand” I plea.

“Okay!” I call.

“Hold on tight. old friend,

I won’t let you fall.”

I look down at myself

“It’ll all be okay.”

But I know the truth,

I am slipping away.

I look up at myself,

Wondering when I’ll let go.

“I’m destined to fall, old friend,

Like a seed’s destined to grow.”

You see, time is unknown;

It could be a minute or a day,

But about this I am certain-

I am slipping away.

The world revolves on its axis,

The economy relies on taxes,

And I revolve around you.

Global warming murders the trees,

While people pray on calloused knees,

But I remain standing for you.

The world is destroyed by ignorance and lies,

The people are dying, I hear their cries,

But I remain silent, for you.

I’m forced into silence by you.

I am of glass

shaped into a

deceiving form

forever destined

to break.