Sep 28 2009
Time Transforms Some, But Not All
So many transformations,
“Forever” turned into “Past”-
Severance is essential
When weeds overtake your grass,
And they did.
I’ve sat beneath the trees
And watched the setting sun,
When daylight became black,
My walk became a run,
And I ran far away.
I’ve sat beneath the stars,
I’ve sang up to the moon,
He watched me as I cried
And sang my broken tune,
But he never talked back.
I begged and then I pleaded,
Forgiveness runs so thin,
And it was always there for you,
But it won’t be there again
Because I quit.
I fucking quit.
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Regarding your writing- You are getting amazing at writing. The second stanza is beautifully composed of perfect iams- structurally flawless. I’m eager to see what you’ll be capable of in the future.
Regarding the content- I’m so proud of you for walking away from this. If someone treats you poorly, doesn’t appreciate you so constantly, you’ve gotta walk away, regardless of how hard you wanted it to work before. Chances shouldn’t come… Much less 13 of them. She never deserved one, and she can’t even appreciate what she had. Instead, she twists it around and distorts it into something it’s not… Fuck her. There are too many prettier, sweeter, smarter girls out here who would die for you. Come give one of us a chance!