Nov 20 2008
The Parrot
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. “Fuck this,” and “fuck that” seemed to be some of the only words the bird would squawk out of his little beak. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to “clean up” the bird’s vocabulary. It appeared that nothing in his power could do a thing to change it. Try as he might, the bird still cursed about.
Finally, John was fed up and began to yell at the little parrot. The parrot began to shout back, and the entire situation evolved into a five minute battle of curse words. The parrot stepped over the line, however, and John grabbed the parrot and began to shake him with all his strength. This did nothing, the bird simply got more emotional and his attitude continued to worsen. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer thinking that the cold would simply scare the parrot so badly he would stop. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed “fuck you” to the extent of his vocals. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer, the parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said, “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything in my power in order to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.”
John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, “May I ask what the turkey did?”
